My sister i am there for you

HEALTHY DAUGHTERS – A MINE FIELD FOR WEALTH.

“My Daughter has made the darkness in my heart light up brighter than I ever thought possible. My Daughter gives me a reason to live and try each and every day. I cannot thank our Lord enough for blessing me with her. And as blessings come, so do disappointments. There are trials and rewards throughout everyone's life. My Daughter had helped me through the most difficult times of my life. I can only PRAY she will allow me to be there for hers”.

These  lines by Georgene Maciolek  very well explain the emotions of a mother engaged in sexual trade who gets utmost happiness when she gives birth to a child especially if it’s a girl child. However I don’t intend to make a generalization here by saying  that all women sexual workers  are very happy to  give  birth to a girl child. Through some researches conducted in Bangladesh in 1993 for 4 months which  ended in 1994 show that mostly women workers either cheated by their lovers or due to aging prefer to put their girl child in the trade as soon as  she attends puberty to support themselves financially and   emotionally .

But how do we as people belonging to the ‘ SAMAJ’  see this relationship between a sexual worker and her daughter? Won’t  our morally conditioned mind  ask is it right to put ones own daughter into such a sinful trade? Won’t we raise doubts on the intent of the ‘mother’  regarding her motherhood and ‘her way’ of conditioning the child?  Why a worker prefers a girl child over a boy child  unlike our samaj which considers testosterone as the keeper of the flame.  This article of mine tries to answer the above questions through a research , through a worker  and her daughter’s  mindset and also through   the elements belonging to the ‘dignified samaj’.

The brothel though physically and socially set apart from the samaj ,  remains an integral part of the society. Here the division  on the lines of communal and caste background is hardly paid attention and is mostly a maternal household in terms of administration and governance, not in terms of consent of the workers while serving  their customers. Children are born without  acknowledged fathers , but they have mothers.  The way the mothers legitimate claims over their daughters  and define rights and duties bear many similarities with the samaj  outside. The exception is that in the brothels , daughters and not sons produce wealth and have greatest value. In order to understand the composition of household and relationship between ‘mothers’ and ‘daughters’ , it is useful to consider how young girls are recruited into the profession . In 92 case histories recorded for this case study , it was found that nearly half of the girls had been bought or directly captured from outside , a quarter had joined the brothel on their own and another quarter were ‘daughters’ of the workers. The latter category is further subdivided into adopted daughters (10%) and daughters born of their mother’s womb(15%). The average age of entry into the profession was found to be 13.5 years old.

Initiating girls into prostitution is largely a ‘mother’s’ role. In Bengali society , daughter’s sexuality , and especially that of the unspoiled virgins , is a highly praised asset to be offered or given away by guardians. Outside the brothel , this is done in the form of arranged marriages with honor and dignity for the parents and inside the brothel it turns into a monetary value and erotic experience for the

customers. “Daughters are gold to their mothers”. These words were heard from Rashida, a 32 year old sex-worker who initiated her young daughter into prostitution at the age of 11. She was once an owner of a brothel but lost all her wealth to her lover who cheated on her and left her penniless. She  didn’t have any other alternative than to initiate her young daughter into the profession.  Her daughter being  fresh, free of diseases , beautiful ,  young, pure and most important a  virgin earned her great amounts  , thus restoring her status financially and emotionally. Now Rashida takes great care of daughter, feeds her eggs, meat , fruits and milk on a regular basis.  Here the daughters are seen as security  for the future.

Mothers which can’t naturally bear a child generally go for adoption. Again maximum children adopted by these sex-workers are girls . Thus, it is a sharp contrast to the methods and rituals of our ‘normal , dignified , moral and dominant society” which craves for boys since they are the “keepers of the flame , and support their parents in their old age”.

The mothers in the brothel keep a close watch on their daughters so that their daughters don’t develop any emotional attachment with the clients because this  would result in either eloping or cheating , thus rendering the mothers  helpless , penniless and thus powerless in the brothel society . The brothel society is not left untouched by the wings of competition. In the sex-trade , every women worker aspires to either become an owner of a brothel or one of the richest prostitutes who attracts maximum clients.

WHY ONLY DAUGHTERS  AND NOT SONS.

It is more difficult for sons than daughters  to come to terms with their prostitute mothers . For them, the lack of knowledge of their fathers makes them less powerful and poses as a hindrance for their entry into the patriarchal society which takes pride in the fact that fathers are the heads of the household and responsible for taking rational decisions. Those boys who end up being in brothel take the job of a pimp and thus survive on their mother’s earnings. Most of the mothers send their sons to cities and other towns to take up new and dignified jobs  there despite the fact that these mothers end up losing contacts with their sons who after initial years start avoiding them and stop sending financial aid to them.  Many of the sons feel ashamed to bring their mothers along with themselves in the dignified and respectable cities and towns due to the shameful trade their mother was engaged in . Moreover these ladies can’t obtain any commercial value from their sons’ bodies as clients’  sexual preference is the opposite gender.

Thus, the brothel samaj is more ‘NAARI  SHAKTI  DRIVEN’ than our dignified samaj which 24*7 boasts of a rational , responsible and intelligent society driven by PURSHAARTH .